How to Tame Your Inner Critic: Finding Self-Compassion After Trauma
- Justine
- Aug 12
- 2 min read
Is there a voice in your head that’s relentlessly harsh? The one that tells you you’re not good enough, that you’ve failed, or that you’re to blame for things that have happened to you. This voice is your Inner Critic, and for many people, especially those who have experienced difficult life events, it can be incredibly loud and powerful.
Where Does the Inner Critic Come From?
The Inner Critic often isn't your own voice. It's usually an internalised echo of critical figures from your past—a parent, a teacher, or a bully. For children, internalising these critical voices is a survival strategy. A child’s brain might reason, "If I can be perfect and criticise myself first, maybe I can avoid being hurt by others."
This critical voice becomes a protective shield. The problem is, this shield is heavy, and you are forced to carry it long after the original danger has passed. It becomes a default setting, a constant background noise of self-judgement that keeps your nervous system on high alert and reinforces the belief that you are fundamentally flawed.
The Impact of a Harsh Inner Critic
Living with a loud Inner Critic is exhausting. It fuels anxiety, deepens depression, and can be a core component of Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). It keeps you trapped in a cycle of shame and self-blame, making it feel impossible to heal from the past. It constantly tells you that you aren't worthy of kindness or happiness, and after a while, you start to believe it.
The key to healing is understanding that you cannot simply "fight" or "ignore" this voice into submission. Trying to do so often just makes it louder. The path forward is through understanding, compassion, and getting to the root of where the voice came from.
How Therapy Helps You Tame the Critic
The goal of therapy isn't to destroy the Inner Critic, but to transform your relationship with it. It’s about learning to see it for what it is: an outdated, wounded part of you that is trying to keep you safe.
This is where therapies like EMDR are so effective.
EMDR doesn’t just address the symptoms (the critical thoughts); it goes to the source. By helping your brain process the original experiences where these critical beliefs were formed, EMDR can fundamentally update your internal system. It helps you separate the past from the present and allows you to develop a new, more compassionate inner voice.
Through therapy, you learn to:
Recognise the critic’s voice when it appears.
Understand its protective (but misguided) intention.
Soothe the wounded part of you it represents.
Cultivate a new voice of self-compassion and strength.
You Deserve Inner Peace
You have carried the weight of that critical voice for long enough. You deserve to feel at peace with yourself and to believe in your own worth. Healing gives you the power to put down the heavy shield and learn to treat yourself with the kindness you have always deserved.
If you are ready to quiet the noise and cultivate a more compassionate relationship with yourself, Justine is here to guide you with expertise and genuine care.
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